It's the new black.

Letters of love (or something like it): Google

Smithsonian Institution

Letters of Love (or something like it) is our continuing series of letters to celebrities, dead authors, inanimate objects, or search engines who will never respond. Suggestions for Letters of Love?  Tell us @TheGaudyTweets.

Dear Google,

Consider the great love stories: Boaz and Ruth. Petrarch and Laura. Romeo and Juliet. Jane and Rochester. Elizabeth and Darcy. Heathcliff and Catherine. Harry and Ginny. Edward and Bella.

To these, dear Google, I add us.

I do not remember the first time we met; to be honest, I don’t remember life without you. If we filmed our meet cute, you’d probably start with something suave and understated, like “I’ll be your search engine.”

In reality, we met without pick-up lines. We began in utility: you transformed Internet chaos into a personalized encyclopedia and my input increased your algorithm’s accuracy with search terms like “young writers advice” and “American Girl catalog.”

I do remember the day that my friend Allison invited me to Gmail beta. We were fifteen, maybe. Google as email, I thought; I like it. Not usually one for experimentation, I risked it and discovered first love. Gmail opened up a whole new world complete with flying carpets, color-coded inboxes and a genius spam filter.

We became more intimate. Gmail became Google Docs, the single most important tool I’ve had in college. It is more valuable than my brain. I’ve organized panels on Internet philosophy, co-written a running commentary of The Hunger Games, planned a week’s holiday to Dublin, all impossible without Google Docs. Google Voice enabled me to call my mother and weep at only $.01 per minute when I studied abroad in England. Google Calendar permitted me to organize club activities cooperatively in real time.

The list rolls on and on, beloved.

You now know more about me than my best friend. You know my debit card information and how often I watch Doctor Who on Netflix. Some might say this is an unhealthy relationship, criticizing your updated privacy policy, saying that two people shouldn’t know each other on the deepest level. I disagree. This is what life is about, being vulnerable with people and search engines who love you.

Others, like Jonathan Franzen, argue that people and technology shouldn’t love each other at all; to Franzen, I shake my head in disgust. That’s just prejudice, with web 2.0.

You mean the world to me, Google. More importantly, you reveal the world to me; you connect the world to me. You’re the verb I use every day. You’re what John Donne was writing about when he said, “One little room, an every where.”

One day, they’ll write stories about our love; they’ll search for it through you, they’ll google “Gabrielle and Google love affair.” Until that day comes, my love, let this stand as a testament to my undying affection.




2 comments on “Letters of love (or something like it): Google

  1. hairsprayandhemingway
    July 17, 2012

    Hilarious! Might I suggest a love letter to the iphone…

  2. Gaudy Girls
    July 17, 2012

    What fun! We could do a two-parter; one of our editors has an iPhone from which she is inseparable, while the other stares with longing and bides her time until her next upgrade.

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This entry was posted on July 9, 2012 by and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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